The concept of equity was meaningful to me this week. I have a child and (obviously) am back in school, so the idea of equity in my marriage is one that has come up a lot. Both my husband and I are trying to find the right balance between work, school (for me), home and me-time. This means that when one of us, or both of us feel like things are not equitable, it puts a huge strain on our relationship. For example, I might feel that he doesn’t do enough to take care of our daughter or help around the house, so I will get upset. For him, he’s not used to doing all these extra things I used to take care of, so it’s stressful for him that I get on his case about it. The period of adjustment was really rough. But, I’m happy to say that we’ve reached an understanding on what is fair and as a result, our relational contentment is much higher. What a difference! I think the authors are right that relational contentment is highest when both people feel that they are being treated equitably. This applies for new and long-term relationships, in my opinion.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Equity
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Equity is something that a lot of people don't talk about by name but it comes up a lot in disagreements. I thought your personal example of balancing the family, school, work, and "me" time. Its not easy. As I have mentioned before, I am in a new relationship, and I find my fella and I saying things like, "I drove up to see you the other day. Can't you drive down here today." With gas the way it is, neither one of us want to be always driving, and one of us shouldn't always be driving. So it is finding that equallibrium that we are both pleased will. I am so glad that you and your husband have found yours!
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