When I read this section, I was shocked that there is a social science term for what I’ve always thought about successful relationships—that people seek their own kind. Life together as a couple is easier if you have the same basis or outlook on life. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, you try to find common ground (in another part of our readings) and I found commonalities can really escalate a relationship. The second part of my philosophy, or the reason why I think this way is that no matter how similar we think we are to the other person, there are bound to be differences and differences often lead to conflict. And not that conflict is always necessarily bad for a relationship, but I think that too much conflict can undermine the relationship.
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I found this section in the chapter interesting as well. My boyfriend and I are so different from eachother, he has a temper and I am the calm one. Although we are so different we balance eachother out. However I do agree that there needs to be some common ground while also being different. Although we are very different we share some of the same interest.
So true, being too different is not a good thing, because yes, than as you say, there must be some commonalities in the relationship. My boss for instance, her and her husband or way too opposite that they practically do nothing together. She goes to her concerts with her friends; she goes out with her friends and even is going to her high school reunion w/out her husband. And he goes for day trips by himself or hikes alone without her. I think the only time that they spend time together is either when they fight or on holidays. My boss even went to a wedding on his side of the family w/out him in another state. Its odd and I guess that’s why they have huge amounts of conflict. Why they stay together, I don’t really know. I think the only thing they have in common is their child and their religion and money, but that isn’t enough.
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